The Selfish Woman

August 20, 2015 by MyPositiveGarden 1 Comment

Once upon a time there was a very unselfish woman. She was a mother, a wife, and a full-time sales person in Corporate America. She gave little to herself. Instead, she sacrificed all of her time and energy to her life duties. Yet, regardless of how much energy she devoted to these things, she never felt it was enough. Day in and day out, she held strong to her belief that if she could just get her kids to their activities on time, make all of her work clients happy, and provide the love and support to her family that they desperately craved, then she had succeeded. As hard as she tried and as unselfish as she was, the woman never succeeded.

Each day, the woman felt guilt about not living up to her own standards and the guilt consumed her. She spent more time apologizing than living and because guilt is to the spirit that pain is to the body, this woman’s spirit rapidly deteriorated. Soon, she was sick. So sick that she could no longer face her family, her clients, or any of her duties. One day, out of her suffering, she prayed. She prayed a prayer so powerful that she had used every last ounce of the energy just to say the words. She prayed for hope. Then, she fell asleep.

The next morning, the woman awoke to a new day and, unbeknownst to her, a new beginning. She stretched her arms and took a good hard look at the world around her. Then, she went back to sleep. She slept for days. She did little for her husband, her children, or her employer. She told them all she was so very sorry, but she was tired and needed rest. Since she now spent her time sleeping, these people all worked very hard while she rested.

The woman spent the next month selfishly resting. She occasionally made it out of bed long enough to visit a client or take her children to school, but mostly she meditated, she prayed, and she read. The house was in shambles, her clients were no longer happy, and her husband missed her dearly. Yet, through all of her selfishness, the woman began to discover something that she had not felt before…Hope.

As the serum of hope was injected into the woman’s body, she began to heal. Soon, this medicine gave her enough strength to leave her bed. It also gave her the energy to open her eyes and see what she had created. She did not like what she saw. So, she began to meditate more. For hours each week, she would sit and clear her mind completely. As she did, the guilt that had previously consumed her began to flow out. Upon recognizing that there was now space for more, she decided to replace it with light. She did not know how, but something deep inside of her told her the light would heal her. So she waited.

For days the woman waited in silence, yet the light did not come. She implored for it to find her, but the darkness remained. Then, one day, it suddenly occurred to her that she would never find the light because the light was already there. It was inside of her the entire time. She felt a burning of excitement and the light exploded from within. Then, she walked outside of her home and looked at the sky. Her light connected with the stars and together they beamed brightly.

The woman went back inside and again slept. The nightmares of guilt and remorse that she was accustomed to facing previously had dissipated and this night she dreamed of flying. When she awoke the next morning, she could see everything clearly for the first time. The world was so beautiful. She saw the same light that came from her also beaming from her children and her husband and they were breathtaking. She smiled at their innocence and their love for her. For the first time, she felt Love.

The woman thought she had known love, but this was unlike anything she had experienced before. It was a sensation of connection with everyone and everything around her, including herself. Trees, animals, and even strangers held a beauty that she felt so deeply, she wanted to hug them all. She also saw her own beauty so powerfully, that she no longer compared herself to the woman in line next to her or to her ‘picture perfect’ friends on Facebook. She was content and she was healthy.

Within a month, the woman had withdrawn her children from most of their activities. She told them to go outside and play and explore instead. She did the same and she invited her husband to join her. There was so much she had been missing and she wanted to experience it all. She told her boss she was not following her heart, so quit her job, sold her possessions, and moved with her family to a tropical island. Her family began to selfishly live solely for the purpose of joy. Together, they dreamt, they played, they laughed, and they loved.

The woman and her family realized that living a life that suited them and nobody else was indeed selfish and that was okay. For it brought them joy and, in finding it, they could begin to share it with others.

And they lived happily ever after.